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"You really are clueless, an embarrassment to the name. Hope you're adopted." -- June Dever
"this guy is right about conserving a clue. he hasn't one and that leaves more for the rest of us." -- Jim Lovell
"Your e-mail addy... should be 'dever@getalife.net.'" -- Sponge
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| Don't Take My Word For It |
| Posted by: dever on Wednesday, August 06, 2003 - 03:00 AM |
Anyone who saw the trailer knew Gigli was going to suck. But did anyone actually think it would suck so bad that the reviews are more entertaining than the movie itself?
"....at this point I think I'd rather suffer through last week's pandering, soft-pitch Dateline NBC special about the couple than watch them lurch and stagger through another two hours of screen amour." -- Rob Blackwelder, splicedwire.com
"[Ben Affleck] appears to be wearing Ted Danson's toupee from 'Cheers.'" -- Roger Friedman, Fox News
"Gigli features some of the most embarrassing writing of any movie made in the last decade is clearly supposed to express an earthy sexual sophistication." -- WTOP
"[Justin] Bartha apparently has downloaded Dustin Hoffman's 'Rain Man' performance; he's got the agitated muttering and blurted non sequiturs down cold. And when he smiles, Brest never fails to thrust the camera right up to his face. At such moments, the orchestral score becomes coated in so much syrup, it could open its own IHOP franchise." -- Mark Caro, Chicago Tribune
"For a brief, mad, moment I had a flicker of a thought that the mundane inanity of the sordid and petty imperatives imposed on Larry and Ricki might be some Samuel Beckett-style commentary on the existential void. Then I realized that watching the movie put me closer to the existential void than they ever were, and that Godot would arrive long before this movie went anywhere. " -- Nell Minow, The Movie Mom
"'Gigli' is such an utter wreck of a movie you expect to see it lying on its side somewhere in rural Pennsylvania, with a small gang of engineers circling and a wisp of smoke rising from the caboose." -- Stephen Whitty, NJ.com
"Rarely has a movie that doesn't star Madonna achieved such a skin-crawling mixture of deluded preening and bungled humour." -- Liam Lacey, The Globe and Mail
"[A] huge waste of celluloid." -- Paul Clinton, CNN
"There are so many bad moments in 'Gigli,' it's a shame to single out only a few." -- Jami Bernard, New York Daily News
"... it has a special badness all its own." -- A. O. Scott, New York Times
"A recent episode of South Park suggested that a fourth-grader's hand puppet could turn in a better performance than Ms. Lopez, and in the case of Gigli, it's hard to argue." -- Luke Y. Thompson, New Times
"In case the Razzie Award announcers have any difficulty with the pronunciation, Gigli rhymes with 'really.' As in ?really bad,? or ?really offensive,? or ?really wish I?d remembered my gun so I could just shoot myself now and end the misery.?" -- Laine Ewen, Premiere
"Gigli is so horrible I had to go cleanse my palate afterward by watching 'Glitter.'"-- Danny Minton, KBTV
"Worst. Movie. Ever." -- The Comic Book Store Guy
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